Last Friday, the IRS announced a nearly 20% increase in the standard business mileage rate. In the wake of record high gas prices, the new rate will be 48.5 cents / mile and be effective from September 1 through December 31, 2005.

The increase in the mileage will most likely equate to “several hundred million dollars” in additional income-tax deductions, according to IRS commissioner, Mark Everson.

Everson added, “We think this is about basic fairness to taxpayers. After sticking it to them for all these years, we’ve had a change of heart and feel it’s time to start giving back to the honest, hard-working citizens of our great country. At least until December 31; after that, we’ll stick it to them again. Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!! Cha-CHING. Woo-hoo! I can’t wait to get my hands on all that money again. Oh wait…is this microphone still on??”

In fairness to the good commissioner, we must admit that only the first sentence in the previous paragraph was his. (We don’t think he uses the word Cha-CHING when calculating IRS revenue.)